Roger's Secret
by Drowning Rooster
Summary: Roger and Thom are rivals, but in more ways than one. Everybody likes attention, and whose attention is better than the court ladies? But will Roger's deep, dark, secret overwhelm his success?
1. Roger's Secret is Out

AN:  This is a fic set in Tortall, with all the characters personalities swapped.  He he!  This is gonna be fun!

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People streamed into the Mess Hall, eager to get to the food, as well as knowing if they were late, the whole hall would be waiting for them.  The result of this would be stables to muck out and undying unpopularity.  The last few people streamed in, and the king stood up.

'Today we have a special treat!' he announced gleefully, jumping up and down and clapping his hands.  Most of the people in the hall had fearful expressions on their faces.

He began to pout.  'It _is _a special treat!' he cried, on the verge of tears.

Upon seeing him in that state, everyone plastered their 'Let's Make Roaldy Happy' smiles onto their faces.  Seeing this, his eyes lit up and a smile bloomed on his face.  'Dukey Roger is going to... SING FOR US!!!'

Everyone gasped as Duke Roger climbed onto the stage, wearing tight leather trousers and a shirt unbuttoned halfway down his chest.  The court ladies all jumped up from their seats, squealing.  He began singing, capturing the court ladies' rapt attention.  Not liking the amount of attention his cousin was getting, Jon jumped onto the stage.  He had just cut a lightning-shape into his forehead with a butter knife, and use his Gift to make his irises green.

'Look everybody!' he cried.  'I'm Harry Potter!'

Everyone turned to look at him.  Then somebody in the crowd yelled, 'Oh no you're not!  Your hair is flat, you have no glasses, they aren't broken, your scar's bleeding…'

Jon burst into tears.  'But I just cut my head in half to be Harry Potter!'  Someone in the crowd began to jeer.

'For goodness sake, Jon!'  Alanna pottered into the room, while still managing to keep her fists on her hips.  With a swirl of violet magic, Jon had sticking-up hair, broken glasses and an unbleeding scar.

'_Alanna!_'  Thom tottered into the room, while still managing to keep his fists on his hips.  Everybody in the hall stared at the twins outfits.  They were almost identical: black crop tops, hotpants and boots.  Alanna had square earrings in, and Thom had circles.

'Er, Thom,' Gary began.  'Why are you wearing hotpants?'  Just then, Duke Roger began singing again, eager for attention.  Everyone turned to watch him.  Then, because of Gary's earlier comment, Thom magicked his hotpants away.  Unfortunately, he wasn't wearing anything underneath.  All of the court ladies turned back round to look at him.  No pants was more interesting than an open shirt.  Realising this, Duke Roger unbuttoned the remaining buttons of his shirt, and took it off.

_Oh no,_ Alanna thought to herself.  _They're gonna have a stripping contest!_

Duke Roger, however, had not done himself any good.  He had kept up a secret record of not bathing for fifteen years, and the hall now _reeked_.  And the court ladies turned back to Thom.

Thom, on the other hand, had not realised why he was getting so much attention.  So he just stood there, bewildered.  And Alanna just put her head in her hands.

~

Author's Note:  Whadja think???  Review, and I'll update.  Don't review, and I'll probably update anyway.  But plz review.


	2. Suspended

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Roger's Secret

Suspended __

Roger's Secret has been temporarily suspended. (Why did I put the word 'temporarily' there? Hm…) Hopefully I will get into an insane enough mood to continue it soon. Please check out my other fics:

Two Alannas? – An adventure fic about Alanna. Starts from the beginning.

Eternal Life? – D/N fluff. Continuing from the end of _The Immortals_.

Lost Centaur – Looks as though it shouldn't be under TP. Adventure/Romance.

Eggily's World – Now abandoned, but feel free to review it anyway! ^_^ Choose-your-own-adventure type fic.

Also, my adorable lil brother is writing a fic on fictionpress – take this link to his Rooster and Drowning Rooster! YAY!

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Reviewer Thanks:

Erm the Penguin: Thanks for the review! Glad you think it's funny. I was in a very hyper mood when I wrote that. ;)

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Nawat Crow: You've changed your penname _again_! It's just as well you're on my favourites list or I'd never find your fics again! ^_^


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